It's not going to happen.


Pictures from the War in Kosovo keep running through my thoughts (like I can do anything about that!), the Y2K problem, food shortages, riots... OY!... anything - EVERYTHING! - is weighing down on me.

And the worst part is the feeling of complete helplessness. Here I am, lying in bed, knowing that if I really needed to have to get up and DO anything, I wouldn't have the strength to do it. I keep seeing these images of Albanian refugees fleeing their homes in the middle of the night; escaping with their families, loaded into wobbly old wagons - and there *I* am, one of the old, feeble ones in the wagon, too weak to help my family...

Things feel like they are spinning out of control.

I desperately need to know that they are going to be okay.


I need something to hold onto.